Searching for The Boy Who Lived Again
by pladskrtgrl
Summary: Harry Potter had lived his whole life to achieve one thing: Voldemort’s end. But with that, comes his own end. Or so it seems to those left behind.
1. Default Chapter

Snow-Covered Hills

I took my love, I took it down  
Climbed a mountain and I turned around  
I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills  
'till the landslide brought me down

May 20th 2000

"Whose deal is it?" Ron asked looking around the table, waiting for someone to respond.

"Neville's" Luna said, smiling tranquilly at her friends.

Hermione came in from her the kitchen of her flat, carrying a big bowl of popcorn and five bottles of Butterbeer levitated in front of her. She set them down in the center of the table as Neville began to chuck cards at his fellow players. Ron won that hand of Exploding Snap and Ginny was about to deal when Luna spoke up.

"It's not the same without Harry," she plainly. They all involuntarily looked to the empty place between Ron and Luna where Harry should have been sitting. "And I really miss him," Luna spoke again.

Hermione breathed deeply. They never talked about Harry anymore. Their weekly card games had not been the same since they had all been at school, but they kept having them in hopes they would find some type of solace in each others company. Now, nearly two years later, no solace had been found and the card games were still boring, leaving each of them missing their friend more and more every week. Hermione was no exception. She needed a best friend to complain about Ron to. She could not exactly bash Ron with Ginny. That was only her surface reason though. She really did want Harry back.

"I miss him, too," Ron, the most emotionally inept person at the table, said with heart-wrenching sadness in his voice. Sure he had other friends but Harry was his best mate. He doubted he would ever have another friend as true as Harry again. Harry was the ultimate friend, maybe a bit grumpy but you could do anything with him, from playing quidditch to battling a bunch of bloodthirsty Death Eaters.

Luna sniffed. She had not dated anyone since Harry. She was just waiting for him to come back. He was the first person who had shown her a bit of interest and made it possible to have these other friends now sitting around her. What was she supposed to do without him there?

Neville thought on the boy who had always been kind to him. He had shown him who he could really be and Neville had defeated everything that came against him because of Harry. Neville trusted Harry more than anyone else. Harry was supposed to be there right now, he deserved it.

Ginny passed a hand over her eyes. Harry. She and Harry had had a deep connection for a long time. He had saved her when they were kids, but also he was the only other person she knew who had been possessed by Voldemort. He knew what it felt like to be used and manipulated, to have someone else in your mind. There was no one else she could turn to.

_Oh, mirror in the sky  
What is love  
Can the child within my heart rise above  
Can I sail thru the changing ocean tides  
Can I handle the seasons of my life _

Things had changed since the early summer day they had received the news by reading the article in the _Daily Prophet_ during the morning post at Hogwarts.

**_HARRY POTTER PRESUMED DEAD_**

_**ON MISSION TO STOP **_

_**HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED**_

_Harry Potter, who left several weeks ago in search of You-know-who, has not been in contact with any officials overseeing this mission. "We were up in the mountains in Romania," said a distraught and worn Remus Lupin, "We were attacked from behind by Death Eaters and engaged in a battle. Harry and Voldemort on a cliff above us and suddenly there was this scream and a burst of white light. Everyone stopped and looked up, and Voldemort rose in the air and kept screaming then he just floated to the ground. We defeated the Death Eaters and sent them back with half of the Order of the Phoenix. Then someone went over and made sure Voldemort was dead and he was. Harry was still standing up on the cliff looking down at us. We looked away for a minute and then back and Harry was gone." Several people have verified this story. Albus Dumbledore also spoke with us: "We do not currently know Harry Potter's whereabouts. Extensive searches have not yielded any results. We can only hope that he is safe and will find his way back." If you have any information on this please contact The Order of the Phoenix, #12 Grimmauld Place._

Ron, Neville, Hermione, Luna, and Ginny had grown up in those two years. There had been a public and private ceremony for Harry. They had all cried, even though Ron did not like to admit that. But they had moved on, or at least tried to. Guiltand sadness influenced their every thought. They all thought they should have been there, as they had been at all the other times. Maybe they could have stopped it but there was no way to change it now.

_Well, I've been afraid of changing  
'cause I've built my life around you  
But time makes you bolder  
Children get older  
I'm getting older too_

It seemed that every time they took one step forward, grief made them take two steps back. Life piled in on them, and although they tried to find strength in each other, they were all too weak.

When they looked back on those days, they were amazed at what they had come through together. The hills and valleys they had walked, looking for a little bit of salvation, with Harry in the lead the whole time. Then it had seemed like the time had passed slowly, long days with agonizingly long classes, just waiting for something bad to happen. Yet, when they reflected on it, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Luna, and Neville realized that they had not had enough time at all.

_Oh, take my love, take it down  
Climb a mountain and turn around  
If you see my reflection in the snow covered hills  
Well the landslide will bring it down_

"I have a photo album of him…if you want to look at it," Hermione said startling everyone out of his or her remembrances. They all looked up eagerly.

"Well," Ron said, "Bring it on, girl!" Hermione smiled at him and scurried to her bedroom. Several minutes she came out with a photo album with a think layer of dust on it. She obviously hadn't looked at it lately. Moving the popcorn and the cards off the table, she now set the album in the middle and flipped the front cover open.

A picture of Harry, about seventeen, sat blinking and smiling at them. It was how they remembered him, how they had last seen him. Flipping the page they saw many of him at Hogwarts, most of which had been taken by Colin, whom was now a photographer for the _Daily Prophet_.

Luna gasped and giggled when they found one of her and Harry seated on the edge of the astronomy tower observation deck. Whoever had taken it had been standing on the ground, roughly nine stories below, but even so, you could see Harry lean in and kiss Luna, their heads framed by a nearly full moon. They watched as Luna cried a little, letting her tears drip down her face before wiping them away. She fingered the photo. Her heart broke each time they watched him lean in, but it also healed as she remembered him.

"Who took this picture?" She asked, tears still glittering but she was smiling in fond memory.

"Ron and I," Hermione said, "We were planning on blackmailing him into restarting the D.A. but then he went and did it himself so we just kept the picture to ourselves."

The next photo depicted Harry, Ron, Fred, George, Bill, and Charlie playing quidditch at the Burrow during the summer. Ginny and Hermione were lying on a blanket below the boys, cheering when they scored. They all smiled, but each girl was flicking away tears now. Neville and Ron seemed to be having a bit of trouble with their throats as they continually cleared them.

Then there were bits of things about Harry: newspaper clippings, including the one announcing his presumed death, notes Hermione had confiscated from Harry and Ron during class, some exceptionally good tests, the string from his whistle from the Room of Requirement, letters from over the summer. There was a sealed, now-flattened scroll between the last page and the back cover. Hermione lifted it out.

"I forgot this was here," She said turning it over in her hands, "I found it in his things at the end of seventh year. I meant to give it to you, Luna, but you were so sad I decided just to save it."

Hermione now handed the letter over, and everyone could clearly see "Luna" printed on the front of it in Harry's boyish handwriting. Luna took it shaking hands, her tears dripping down onto it. She slit the seal and unrolled the parchment, reading it aloud in a shaky voice:

"' _May 28th, 1998_

_Luna,_

_I don't know how to say this. Things are never easy for me to say. I'm better at showing, but I'm writing this because I might not get a chance to show you._

_I might never see you again, and although this may sound cowardly, that really scares me. It's like, Where's that Gryffindor courage when you need it? But I just am scared. There is so much riding on me. They want me to save everyone, except for Voldemort. I don't know if I can kill him. I want to. He took away my life and made me be the "Boy Who Lived." I'll never have a life in England if I survive. People won't be able to look past my fame. He took away my chances. But he is still stronger than me in so many ways. Dumbledore says it is my heart that will save me in the end. That it is what has saved me all along. Which is what I want to tell you. Luna you mean everything to me. I want you to know, if I never see you again-'_" Luna choked on her tears as she saw what he wrote next. She was crying quite strongly now. She gave a little laugh and continued, "_'I want you to know, if I never see you again that I love you. I have never told anyone that. Not even if I do love them, I just can't say it. I am so sorry I haven't said it before now. But I am leaving in five minutes. I'll leave this letter in the bottom of my trunk. It'll be easy to find when you go through my things. _

_Love,_

_Harry_

_P.S. Make sure Ron gets my broom servicing kit, Hermione my text books, Ginny my things from Zonko's and W.W.W., Neville my notebooks (so that he can right things down to remember them). Make sure the money in my vault is transferred to the Weasley's. And I'm leaving my broom to you Luna. Have a good ride.'_"

The five friends gathered at the table grinned. That was exactly how they had divided his things up. They knew their friend well. Except for the broom. They had left that with Professor Dumbledore. Luna decided that maybe she would go get it the next day. Neville was rereading the article about Harry's Death.

"Don't you think it is a bit strange that Harry just disappeared? No tracks or anything. Just kind of melted into the mountains without a trace. I never really thought about it before, I was too shocked that he was gone. But something isn't right about this…"

"Neville he's gone. Just gone. That is all there is to it," Hermione said sadly.

Luna glanced back down at the letter "_Dumbledore says it is my heart that will save me in the end. That it is what has saved me all along... I'll never have a life in England if I survive. People won't be able to look past my fame. " _

"No, your right Neville something isn't right. Dumbledore said he would survive. Here, look at the letter," She showed them the part she had just read, "He didn't think he would be able to have a real life here. He didn't die, and he's still out there."

"Then why hasn't he come back?" Ron asked bitterly.

"He didn't want to just be the "Boy Who Lived…Again"? But Neville and Luna are right, something doesn't fit," stated Ginny.

"So what should we do?" Hermione questioned skeptically.

"Go looking for him?" offered Neville.

"Yah," whispered Ron, still a bit doubtful, but not ready pass up a chance to have his best mate back, "Yah, we should go looking for him. We've done loads of things tougher than a little hike in the woods."

They looked around at each other, unsure but they still smiled. It was decided. They would go looking for Harry.

_If you see my reflection in the snow covered hills  
Well maybe the landslide will bring it down_


	2. Making Your Own Miracle

Making Your Own Miracle 

Is there a trace  
Inside her face  
Of a lonely miracle  
And so you wait  
And lie awake  
For a lonely miracle

Luna could not sleep the night before they were scheduled to leave. It was nearly a month since Luna, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and Neville had decided to go looking for Harry. So much had happened, so much planning and double-checking and basically fooling everyone they came across.

Ron and Hermione had easy ways to disappear, as Hermione was a teacher at Hogwarts and therefore had the summer off and Ron, as the assistant coach of Pemmington Platypuses quidditch team, could escape for a month without really being missed. They told everyone they were going on vacation together to pick a place in Romania for a wedding. This also involved telling everyone that they were engaged. "Fat chance," muttered Ron, when they decided that would be their cover story, but without his usual emphatic denial. Luna also had an easy time of vanishing; she simply told her boss in the Experimental Charms Department that she had found some specimens she would like to use in Romania and surrounding countries, but that it would take awhile to retrieve them.

For Neville, an auror-in-training, and Ginny, medi-witch for the quidditch leagues, they had to do a little maneuvering. They hacked into the magical lists of assignments and reassigned themselves to the town where they others would be.

The plan was to meet at the Гостиница Белого огня. It was the closest inn to the place Harry was last seen. Acting as though they were surprised to see it each other, they would make a big show of a reunion. Then they would stay there for a bit and pretend to move on, only to mysteriously drift into the mountains and not have anyone think of them until they returned. With Harry.

Luna was a bit anxious. She fingered the blue cloth of her sheets and glanced out window. She could only hope that Harry was still alive to see the night sky as well. They were all worried that they were setting themselves up to just have their hearts stomped on but they could not pass up this chance. Sighing, Luna rolled over and looked at the picture on her bedside table. Harry waved at her and she could tell he was saying "Hi!"

"Hi, Harry," she whispered. Luna brushed at her eyes, feeling wet tears brimming over. So while crying silently, Luna spent her last night at home before she went to find Harry.

_It's taken much too long  
To get it right  
Would it be so wrong  
To maybe find someone  
A miracle_

"Ropes?"

"Check."

"Food Rations?"

"Check."

Ginny and Ron continued pouring over the lists in the corner of Hermione's small living room. Luna and Hermione were once again checking to make sure everyone had no idea where they were really going. Neville was reading the maps they had procured of Romania and the area they would be hiking through. As he looked at the magically projected 3D form of the mountains he sighed. Even if they could find the place where Harry had killed Voldemort it would be dangerous and who could tell if there would be a trail to follow from there? It had, after all been, two years. And with the anti-apparation spells on the mountains to discourage people from going to see the place of Voldemort's demise, searching would be slow going and dangerous.

"Are we ready?" Hermione asked an hour later. They all nodded. "Alright, we'll meet in the dining room of the Гостиница Белого огня at six this evening. Everybody know the plan?" Again everyone nodded.

"Coming, dear?" Ron said sarcastically, as he grabbed his and Hermione's bags. They were dressed the part of the tourist in classy clothes and sunglasses. She waved to everyone as she and Ron disapparated with a double-pop.

"I'll see you guys soon," said Ginny, pulling a cloak over her red medi-witch uniform. Holding tight to the top handle of her rucksack she too left. Once she checked in to the quidditch headquarters where she had reassigned herself she would tell the people there that she had to return home for an emergency. Then she would retire to the hotel to meet her friends.

Clapping Luna on the shoulder, Neville took out his Ministry-issued auror portkey, which looked much like a hand-towel. He and his hiking-pack were whisked away. Luna looked around the quiet apartment, knowing that it would be empty for at least another month. Sighing with a small prayer that everything would turn out well she strapped on her luggage and disapparated to the edge of the town where they would be meeting. If she was going to be playing the part of a traveling researcher she would have to make it look real. She could just see the buildings as she arrived in the chilly Romanian town and started her hike down.

_You never really know  
What it is  
Not until it goes  
And if it comes again  
It's a miracle_

"Neville, old chap! Is that you? What in all o' Camelot are you doing here?" a very convincing drunk, though very sober, Ron swayed a little. Hermione pretended to support him as they walked towards Neville.

"Ron! Hermione! How are you?" Neville said setting down the tome he had been trying to occupy himself with before their little reunion.

"We're good, we're good…Getting married you know," boomed Ron, keeping up the drunk tourist act. Several feet away from them a pretty red-haired girl in tight robes rapped on the bar.

"The service is horrible here!" Ginny screeched at the bartender. "I ordered a double bitter-berry whiskey forty minutes ago! Omigod! Big brother is that you? And Hermione? AND NEVILLE? Holy Hippogriffs it is. What are you doing here?"

"Wedding plans," Hermione said, blushing convincingly.

Neville cleared his throat, yet winked at his friends, "Business. Come on, Ginny, come sit with us."

Chatting loudly, as to put on a show for others around them, the four carried on for several minutes. Just as they were all cackling loudly another young woman approached them, her hair full of twigs and her face dirty.

"Luna?" Ginny said loudly and rushing to embrace her. While hugging her she whispered, "Where have you been, and what on earth happened to you?"

"I sat down to enjoy nature for a few minutes and it decided to enjoy me in the form of several crups chasing me into the forest," Luna whispered back, causing both girls to giggle. Again, in loud voices, they invited the final member of their group. The people around them had been moving away from the obnoxious group slowly during the past few hours and now the dining room was nearly empty. They leaned in towards each other.

"I think we should head up to bed. Tomorrow morning we'll run for it," Hermione said. Staggering their exits, they left for their rooms, only to be there for one night.

_All you wanted was a (miracle)  
All you needed was a miracle  
A miracle  
And all you wanted was a (miracle)  
All you needed was a miracle  
A miracle_

Ron pretended to stumble up to his and Hermione's room with her gripping his arm the whole way. When they finally closed the door of the white and mint green room with the sweeping window at the left side, they began laughing hysterically.

"Ah," Ron said and continued hoarsely, "If I had to keep yelling like that any longer I would have lost my voice completely."

"Yes, and I think I would have lost my hearing," Hermione muttered, grinning broadly, pulling drawstring plaid pants and a white tank top out of her backpack. She glanced at Ron who was being quite oblivious and reading over another map. She cleared her throat, "Do you think you could, um, leave for a moment, so that I could, ah, change?"

Ron looked up from the map, smirking, though obviously annoyed. "Do you, ah, think _you_ could leave for a moment so I could double check this route in peace? Honestly the bathroom is a meter down the hall, just go get dressed there," Ron returned to the map with out even looking back at Hermione who huffed and left to get changed.

_It's taken much too long  
To get it right  
Would it be so wrong  
To maybe find someone  
A miracle_

For the second night in a row Luna was up late again. Only this time it was because she, Ginny, and Neville were in her dark green hotel room, looking for Harry. Or not Harry, per say, but for life forms in the mountains. Neville had brought out the floating three-dimensional map again. They had cast a spell on it to show all animal life by small red lights in the animal's current position. The only problem was that it picked up on deer and rabbits and the like. They did find one place where the density of animal life was less. Figuring that it could be possible the animals avoided this area because of human life they peered closely at the area on the map. Sure enough, there was a marker that glowed just a bit brighter than the rest.

"Could that mean a person?" Ginny asked leaning back from the map.

"It could. Or could just be a particularly larger animal, such as bear, which would explain why there are fewer animals surrounding that area," said Neville.

Luna rocked on her knees as she gripped the edge of the bed to keep from falling off, "It's the closest thing to a lead that we have. We have to take it."

"Well, I suppose we'll start heading that way then. Better get to bed, long day ahead of us," Neville said, swishing his wand so that map disappeared. He and Ginny left with good nights, and Luna readied for bed, with a warmth in her stomach that had not been there in many years. Like Neville had said, the bright dot could have been a large animal, but it also could have been a person…

When Hermione returned to the room she and Ron were sharing she was surprised to find him sprawled across the bed, dead asleep. His right leg was hanging off the right side of the bed, the upper half covered by the duvet. The sheets were firmly pulled up to his neck and the right side of his face was buried in one of the pillows.

"Ron," she hissed, going to him and shaking his shoulder. She just could not sleep in the same bed with him. People might have been fooled into thinking they were together, but she and he both knew it was not true. After a few more shakes she realized that redhead in the maroon polka-dot pajamas in front of her was not going to wake. She softly walked around the side and hesitated before pulling the covers back and sliding in. She lay stiffly at first; nearly falling off her side of the bed but after a bit turned on her back and folded her hands across her stomach. Listening to Ron breathing gently she fell asleep, wishing that she could hear that every night.

And so you wait  
And lie awake  
For a lonely miracle


	3. Disclaimer! Not a new chapter, just leg...

Hello! Just giving an official Disclaimer: Harry Potter does not belong to me. The songs also do not belong to me. So far I have used songs by Fleetwood Mac and Vertical Horizon. The next chapter will feature a song by Vanessa Carlton. Songs in the future will by the Dandy Warhols and Kelly Clarkson.

Remember, they're not mine, don't sue me, don't delete my story! Thanx!

psg 


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